A Feminist Guy

"You seem quiet: are you okay?"

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 09:32:56 -0400

Good quote from the article below: “Sexual consent isn’t like a lightswitch, which can be either “on,” or “off.” It’s not like there’s this one thing called “sex” you can consent to anyhow. “Sex” is an evolving series of actions and interactions. You have to have the enthusiastic consent of your partner for all of them. And even if you have your partner’s consent for a particular activity, you have to be prepared for it to change. Consent isn’t a question. It’s a state. If, instead of lovers, the two of you were synchronized swimmers, consent would be the water. It’s not enough to jump in, get wet and climb out — if you want to swim, you have to be in the water continually. And if you want to have sex, you have to be continually in a state of enthusiastic consent with your partner.”

masakhane:

A great article by Scarleteen explains what it “sounds like” to navigate consent and how to check-in with your sexual partner.

The middle of the post gives a chart of verbal cues for consent and nonconsent, and afterwards includes a great “traffic light” guide by Columbia University Health Service’s Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Program for navigating consent:

"There’s a big difference, however, between hating a dominant group in an oppressive system like..."

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 21:49:15 -0400

“There’s a big difference, however, between hating a dominant group in an oppressive system like patriarchy and hating the individuals who belong to it. Angela Davis once said that as an African American she often feels hatred for white people, but her feelings for particular white people depend on the individual. She hates white people’s collective position of dominance in a racially oppressive society, she hates the privilege they enjoy at her expense, and she hates the racist culture that whites take for granted as unremarkable while she must struggle with the oppression it creates in everyday life. But Davis also knows that while individual whites can never be free of racism, they can participate in racist systems in many different ways, which include joining people of color in the fight for racial justice. The same can be said of men and women.

The distinction between groups and individuals, however, is subtle and easy to lose sight of when you’re up to your ears in an oppressive system. Of course women are going to feel and express anger, resentment, and even hatred toward individual men who may not have it coming in just that way or to that degree or at that moment. Of course men are sometimes going to get their feelings hurt or be called on to take responsibility for themselves in ways they may not be used to. When I heard Davis talk about hating white people, and when I’ve heard women talk about hating men, I’ve had to get clear in my own mind about how these words refer to me and how they don’t, and it often takes some effort to get there. And as a white male who benefits from both male and white privilege, I’ve also had to see that it’s up to me-and not to women or people of color-to distinguish one from the other. Too often men react to women’s anger by calling on women to take care of them, and in this way recreate the male-centered principle of the very gender order that women, feminist and otherwise, are angry about.”

- Allan G. Johnson (via wretchedoftheearth)

stoptellingwomentosmile: Commentary. In February, I posted two...

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 10:53:41 -0400

stoptellingwomentosmile:

Commentary.

In February, I posted two pieces in Bed-Stuy on Tompkins and Halsey. These two pieces got the most attention of any pieces I’ve put up so far. Within a few days, someone had written his response to the work directly onto the posters. From there, a woman wrote a response to him. And it went on and, on with different hand-written comments creating this kind of interesting discussion. The pieces remained up until a week or so ago, when the phallic image was drawn. That’s when I decided to try to take them down.

The “Stop Telling Women to Smile” piece remained in tact enough for me to include it in the exhibition. I thought it was important to present in the show, so that people could view these written reactions.

bastardfromabasket: itsvondell: will arnett as gob bluth as the 12th doctor #eleven begins to...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 09:16:36 -0400

bastardfromabasket:

itsvondell:

will arnett as gob bluth as the 12th doctor

#eleven begins to glow with regeneration energy #[final countdown plays in distance]

If Comedy Has No Lady Problem, Why Am I Getting So Many Rape Threats?

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 17:15:45 -0400

If Comedy Has No Lady Problem, Why Am I Getting So Many Rape Threats?:

Warning: The linked video is of West reading misogynist rape threats leveled at her after the debate. It’s disturbing stuff.

malefeminist:

Lindy West recaps her experience after a recent debate about comedy, in which she rejected the idea that rape jokes have no effect on culture.

Let me be clear: I don’t believe that previously non-raping audience members are going to take to the streets in a rape mob after hearing one rape joke. That’s an absurd and insulting mischaracterization. But I do believe that comedy’s current permissiveness around cavalier, cruel, victim-targeting rape jokes contributes to (that’s contributes—not causes) a culture of young men who don’t understand what it means to take this stuff seriously.

And how did they try and prove me wrong? How did they try to demonstrate that comedy, in general, doesn’t have issues with women? By threatening to rape and kill me, telling me I’m just bitter because I’m too fat to get raped, and suggesting that the debate would have been better if it had just been Jim raping me.

misswizzle: (via 31 Unmistakable Signs That You’re An...

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 19:24:50 -0400

misswizzle:

(via 31 Unmistakable Signs That You’re An Introvert)

Drag

Sun, 02 Jun 2013 11:28:11 -0400

Relatively recently I went out in public in drag. It was for a “queer” event, and although I don’t ID as queer, I am bisexual and do want to support visible queerness. So I decided, what the hell, I’ll go in drag. Nothing too out there, just a dress and some lipstick.

Ten years ago, you couldn’t have gotten me in a dress for any amount of money. I had some initial worry that I was going to be read as something other than my gender, like a lady or something. Yeah, no. I got “bro” and “sir” all night. And I looked pretty good, if I say so myself.

The strangest part of the night was when a gay man, who I think was probably flirting with me, yelled “hey fag!” at me. I know that this is a term of endearment/connection/etc. in gay community, but it felt like an insult, just because that term has such strong connotations and I’m not used to using it myself, or having it used for me, in a positive way. I did my best to smile and joke/flirt back.

I don’t think that I’ll be wearing skirts or dresses on the regular anytime soon (although they do allow for some nice airflow when it’s hot out!), but it’s nice to know that (1) my gender identity is being recognized consistently now and (2) I’ve attained enough comfort in my gender and sexuality that I can play a little with presentation. Early in transition, I was so worried that people would think I was gay (which I felt like was because of a failure to perform the right kind of masculinity, not just people missing my identity as someone strongly heteroromantically oriented). Now I don’t care so much.

If it comes to conversation with people, I will make the distinction between gay and bisexual, because I think it’s important (the idea that you have to choose “gay” or “straight” is a problem). But if it’s just that people think I appear “gay” (whatever that means), they can think what they want.

lemonsweetie: Let me tell you a thing, about an amazing man...

Thu, 30 May 2013 13:58:48 -0400

lemonsweetie:

Let me tell you a thing, about an amazing man named Patrick Stewart

I went to Comicpalooza this weekend and I was full of nervous energy as I was standing in line to ask Sir Patrick Stewart a question at his panel. I first had to thank him for a speech he had given at amnesty international about domestic violence towards women . I had only seen it a few months ago but I was still dealing with my own personal experience with a similar issue, and I didn’t know what to call it. After seeing Patrick talk so personally about it I finally was able to correctly call it abuse, in my case sexual abuse that was going to quickly turn into physical abuse as well. I didn’t feel guilty or disgusting anymore. I finally didn’t feel responsible for the abuse that was put upon me. I was finally able to start my healing process and to put that part of my life behind me.

After thanking him I asked him “Besides acting, what are you most proud of that you have done in you life (that you are willing to share with us)?”. Sir Patrick told us about how he couldn’t protect his mother from abuse in his household growing up and so in her name works with an organization called Refuge for safe houses for women and children to escape from abusive house holds. Sir Patrick Stewart learned only last year that his father had actually been suffering from PTSD after he returned from the military and was never properly treated. In his father’s name he works with an organization called Combat Stress to help those soldiers who are suffering from PTSD.

They were about to move onto the next question when Sir Patrick looked at me and asked me “My Dear, are you okay?” I said yes, and that I was finally able to move on from that part of my life. He then passionately said that it is never the woman’s fault in domestic violence, and how wrong to think that it ever is. That it is in the power of men to stop violence towards women. The moderator then asked “Do you want a hug?”

Sir Patrick didn’t even hesitate, he smiled, hopped off the stage and came over to embrace me in a hug. Which he held me there for a long while. He told me “You never have to go through that again, you’re safe now.” I couldn’t stop thanking him. His embrace was so warm and genuine. It was two people, two strangers, supporting and giving love. And when we pulled away he looked strait in my eyes, like he was promising that. He told me to take care. And I will.

Sir Patrick Stewart is an absolute roll model for men. He is an amazing man and was so kind and full of heart. I want to let everyone know to please find help if you are in a violent or abusive house hold or relationship. There are organizations and people ready to help. I had countless people after the panel thanking me for sharing the story and asking him those questions. Many said they went through similar things. You are not alone.

X

^ Here is the video of my question to Sir Patrick Stewart

Photos by Eugene Lee, Thank you

Yeah, I’m a little weepy now. Wow.

wilwheaton: skipping2hell: ailea: darknightdudes: Injustice:...

Wed, 29 May 2013 14:27:31 -0400

wilwheaton:

skipping2hell:

ailea:

darknightdudes:

Injustice: Gods and Rich Mortals Among Us

It’s obviously Batman.

THE BAT SYMBOL IN THE SUN I CAN’T

Batman will always win.

This is especially hilarious to me, and will likely be funny to anyone who watched me debate this very question with John Rogers and Yuri Lowenthal.

"You can’t go complaining about ‘violence against women’ in a game with an equal..."

Tue, 28 May 2013 19:34:43 -0400

“You can’t go complaining about ‘violence against women’ in a game with an equal amount of violence is [sic] portrayed against men.”

- Things I read on Facebook. Sorry, yes, you can. There are not only different contexts for violence outside of a video game, which will impact how it is read, but also different ways violence is perpetrated against men and women in video games. Take an analogous claim: you can’t complain about white people being portrayed as stereotypes in a game with an equal number of stereotypical black people. If the game is being in a culture where white people are dominant, and where black people are still disproportionately misrepresented in media in general, then hell yes you can.

I’d post this on the person’s wall, but I’ve taken a solemn no Facebook-fighting/interacting vow for my personal sanity. But now I wish I didn’t know that this person holds such a belief.

image is a...

Mon, 27 May 2013 18:17:17 -0400

image is a fake

http://wafflesatnoon.com/2013/05/22/yahoo-filter-explicit-tumblr-content/

thegirlofgood: continueplease: nbcnews: Teen’s invention...

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:08:52 -0400

thegirlofgood:

continueplease:

nbcnews:

Teen’s invention could charge your phone in 20 seconds

(Photo: Intel)

Waiting hours for a cellphone to charge may become a thing of the past, thanks to an 18-year-old high-school student’s invention. She won a $50,000 prize Friday at an international science fair for creating an energy storage device that can be fully juiced in 20 to 30 seconds.

Read the complete story.

Everybody, remember this face.
Remember this name.
If this becomes a commonly used & highly lauded discovery, at some point a White guy is going to take credit, even if he has to word it like “Improved upon a previous…”
No no no
Remember this brown girl.
Remeeeemmmmmberrrrr

Reblogging for new commentary

polyamorousmisanthrope: menophiliac: girljanitor: innocent-bys...

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:38:05 -0400

polyamorousmisanthrope:

menophiliac:

girljanitor:

innocent-bystanders-inc:

nudiemuse:

princelesscomic:

girljanitor:

Self Evident Truths

S. Ross Browne

Ummm…I am so VERY into this right now!

But Black people in period or fantasy settings totally makes the stories unreal.

Also holy shit I love these.

How come I don’t run across this stuff regularly?

Because of racism and the retroactive erasure of POC in Medieval Europe. Pretty much the same reason you almost never see these works of art either unless you’re already looking for them:

um yes

Yes, these pics need to be out there more, as well as the stories of the sitters.

The only one I could identify off the top of my head was Juan de Pareja (gentleman in the brown doublet and white collar). I read his biography when I was a kid. He was a slave and then a freedman of European painter Diego Velasquez and a skilled artist in his own right.

allcreatures: Photographer Linden Gledhill used a home-made...

Sat, 18 May 2013 10:59:33 -0400

allcreatures:

Photographer Linden Gledhill used a home-made contraption to photograph this ladybird in flight in his garden in Pennsylvania

Picture: LINDEN GLEDHILL / CATERS (via Pictures of the day: 14 May 2013 - Telegraph)

The Washington Post gets it wrong. The first female commanding a...

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:37:54 -0400

The Washington Post gets it wrong. The first female commanding a Starfleet ship is a black woman. Yes, Janeway is the first woman who is a lead character in the franchise as ship’s captain, but it’s important to recognize that they had women, and women of color, commanding before her.

the-curee: please

Wed, 15 May 2013 19:12:07 -0400

the-curee:

please

scienceing: mybluedecember: princess-munchkin: How the fuck...

Wed, 15 May 2013 09:51:44 -0400

scienceing:

mybluedecember:

princess-munchkin:

How the fuck does Bill Nye expect this to happen? What do you want to do, force women to enroll in science courses, regardless of whether or not they want to do it? Just for the sake of having “enough” women? Why the fuck do these fractions matter so much? It’s not like people are holding guns to our head and threatening to kill us if we become interested in science.

Maybe, just maybe, a lot of us DON’T FUCKING WANT to be scientists. Is that a crime?

Hi there, princess-munchkin. Female engineering student here.

Bill Nye is not saying that you HAVE to be a scientist, and you are right that no one is holding a gun to my head because I am interested in science, but let me tell you some of the struggles of being a woman in the STEM fields.

1) Because I am a woman, I am not expected these fields. I first fully realized this when I was in high school, on my robotics team. See, although my robotics team was about 50% female, most of the women were part of the “business administration” side of things: finance, marketting, PR, membership, etc. Was this a problem? Absolutely not. But I was there to be an engineer, and specifically, to be the robot programmer. This was met with a lot of hesitation at first from some of the other students (all of whom happened to be male. This is not necessarily a bad thing.) You see, all of the robot programmers before me were guys. Computer programming is just a thing that guys do, or so they thought. Even after I had proved myself to the mentors on the team, many of the students still underestimated my abilities. There were rumors going around that I wouldn’t have been able to program the robot at all if the lead software mentor wasn’t there to help me. This was just flat-out false, but it wasn’t until I won an award for the team that the other students actually saw my merit.

2) There is not a lot of encouragement for women to go into these fields. I first noticed this when I was in elementary school. I was always interested in math, science, you name it, but many of my teachers and family members pushed that to the side for a long time. When I asked for legos for christmas, I would get ballet slippers. In fact, for a long time, I was training to be a professional dancer. I loved to dance. I loved math more, but no one seemed to notice that about me. It wasn’t until I had a long conversation with one particular teacher in high school that I decided to look into engineering. I had never even considered it as an option before, because no one decided to encourage me to pursue my interest in science. If it hadn’t been for that teacher, I would probably not be at the school I am at right now.

3) For a long time, Engineering/Science/Math WAS a “boys only” club. Let me tell you when some of the top technical schools and societies started letting women in:

RPI, The oldest tech school in the country, founded in 1824. Started admitting women in 1942 to “replace men called to war.” Campus housing for women wasn’t constructed until 1966.

Tau Beta Pi, the Engineering Honors Society - Founded in 1885. Started admitting women in 1968.

Caltech - Currently rated #3 in undergraduate engineering. Founded in 1891. Started admitting women in 1970.

Georgia Tech - Currently rated #5 in undergraduate engineering. Founded in 1885. Started admitting women in 1952.

Do you see the implications of this? Engineering has been a part of our society since around the late 1800s (in the case of RPI, since the 1820s), but women weren’t even allowed in for the most part until the 1950s, regardless of their merit.

4) Because of the fact that it was a “boys only” club for such a long time, there are not a lot of women engineers and scientists to look up to. When you’re reading your physics, chemistry, and math text books, the majority of those theories were came up with by men. It is true that much of our history was written by White Men, but this does not mean that the fact that there are few women scientists to look up does not matter.

So, as you can hopefully see, princess-munckin, or anyone else that shares the opinions of princess-munchkin, Bill Nye was not arguing that women that are not interested in STEM should go into those fields anyway. But he IS arguing against all of the systematic barriers set up against women who ARE interested in engineering and science. There are several women out there who are just as good as the boys at math and science, but will never pursue their interests because it just doesn’t seem like an option. That was me for a long time. I am super grateful for the fact that I fought against that, and that I ended up where I am.

if you don’t like science, fine. Don’t be a scientist. But if one day you have a daughter and she shows interest in being a scientist, PLEASE encourage her. Because Bill Nye is right, there needs to be more women scientists in the world.

A+ comment

Reblogged to add: look at Dawkin’s body language in this GIF. Another reason why I prefer people like Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Bill Nye as advocates for science and humanism. They get the connections between political equality and scientific progress in a more complete way.

"“It is a pity the young Pi was not nominated There’s not much you can do. He’s an Indian actor and..."

Wed, 15 May 2013 09:48:34 -0400

“

“It is a pity the young Pi was not nominated There’s not much you can do. He’s an Indian actor and nobody knows him so he was easily overlooked.

With peer voting, people will vote for their friends or based on their impressions. He’s a newcomer and we often said he had never acted before—that’s a disadvantage to getting nominated. But I do think his performance was the purest performance.”

”

- Taiwanese director Ang Lee noting Hollywood’s tendency to overlook Asian actors to a Chinese radio station. Ang Lee was disappointed that Suraj Sharma was not nominated for Best Actor for his performance in The Life of Pi. Lee added that he felt Irfan Khan should have been nominated for Best Supporting Actor, and that Zhang Ziyi was not nominated either for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, nor were any actors nominated for Slumdog Millionaire.

What’s a guy gotta do to get an Oscar? Here’s some trivia about Sharma’s work on the film, from FirstPost.com.

Sharma beat out 4,000 other applicants (Ang Lee decided from the start the role would not be whitewashed.)

Sharma had never acted prior to this so Ang Lee assigned him a pile of homework and made him act scenes from Teneesse Williams and other playwrights just for practice.

Sharma didn’t know how to swim when he was cast for the role. When he first started out he could only hold his breath for 14 seconds. In the end he was able to go for one minute and a half.

Sharma spent most of the movie filming in a pool emoting in front of a blue screen to an invisible tiger.

Sharma lost 20% of his body weight for the role, eating a diet that mostly consisted of tuna fish, just like his character, so his ribs would show.

Sharma cut himself up frequently while working on the boat and used those injuries in his acting. He would allow himself to get flipped along with the boat.

The production was banned from speaking to Sharma. Ang Lee and Sharma agreed that he would not to talk to other people for almost two months so he would understand what isolation was like.

1. This kid is badass.

2. When white actors like Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio do stuff like lose 20% of their body weight or cut themselves and keep acting everyone cheers uproariously.

3. It is weirdly dismissive when films about characters of color get nominated but their actors do not. Django Unchained, Life of Pi, Slumdog Millionaire, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, The Last Emperor, etc.

4. As FirstPost points out, a lot of the Oscar snubbed actors that people are talking about like Leonardo DiCaprio have plenty of other opportunities to star in other big movies. When is the next big project for an actor of South Asian descent coming up?

(via racebending)

rosalarian: Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you...

Tue, 14 May 2013 23:22:54 -0400

rosalarian:

Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you hadn’t heard. How dare she remove those ticking time bombs from her chest, amiright? Like, hasn’t she learned by now that her body is public domain and we all get to vote on what she does with it? Sheesh, how selfish can ya get.

This comic is awesome. I’d like the author to do one for Judith Jarvis Thompson’s “Defense of Abortion.”

polyamorousmisanthrope: amayakumiko: trelkez: swingsetindecemb...

Tue, 14 May 2013 13:27:21 -0400

polyamorousmisanthrope:

amayakumiko:

trelkez:

swingsetindecember:

jazuthewasianprincess:

beeishappy:

TDS | 2013.05.13

AH, I HAVE DISCOVERED WHY I HATE YOUR GUTS.

urgh. go away jj abrams. you and your whitewashing of star trek and all ladies have to be in underwear

I’m going to see it at midnight with exitbybears and what-alchemy. I plan on having a large glass of wine first. So long as I don’t drunkenly shout “GET IT MCCOY” I don’t think either of them will blame me.

… How can you make the thing if you didn’t like the thing the thing is based on?

Money. LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY. Star Trek fans have spent billions on the franchise over the years. Hollywood is about money, not art.

People tend to be loyal to brand and every director and producer out there who makes a commercial success of things knows it.

But too philosophical? REALLY? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? It’s as deep as a medieval morality play. Now I’ve loved Star Trek since before god 70% of the people reading this were even BORN, but let’s not put on airs. If Star Trek is too deep for you, you’re a goddamned idiot.

Star Trek does deal with a lot of philosophical issues, but so does sci-fi in general. Things like self-identity, time travel, what it is to be human, the ethics of intervention in other cultures…oh, wait, this is what literature and art in general grapple with.

No wonder Abrams didn’t even think about whether Khan should be portrayed by a white Benedict Cumberbatch. He wasn’t concerned about the “philosophy” of Star Trek, which, let’s face it, is just another way of saying he isn’t concerned about the problems driving the plot. He wants shiny special effects and sex appeal wrapped up in a brand that will pull in more than the typical action film audience.

Why is he making movies again?